I wrote a book!
I feel like a YouTuber back in 2012 when they say they have a huge announcement for a top-secret project they’ve been working on when most people could figure it out… but here I am regardless saying: I wrote a book! And better yet you can pre-order it now on Amazon!! Or here on Barnes and Noble!
“Forgiveness is Green” is a collection of both poetry & prose at a page length of 126 pages!
Covering the main themes of :
For the last three years of my life, I've been trying to express the inescapable feelings I’ve had for so long and trying to cultivate the words I needed to hear most when I was at my lowest. When I started writing, “Forgiveness is Green” I had just come home from dropping out of college. It hasn’t ever been easy for me to talk about the reason why I dropped out but if there ever was a time to do so it would be here. I left college because after isolating myself, I started to have recurring nightmares and suppressed memories resurface. For a long time, I was trying to survive, keep the peace, and protect myself from my own hurting. When I finally had the time to process what I’d been through and how I've been feeling I became badly depressed and very suicidal.
At my all-time lowest I would lay on the ground of my dorm room thinking about how no one around me really knew just how far gone I was. How I could disappear and no one would have seen it coming. I thought the only way out of the life I had been stuck in was dying. But I was wrong. The only thing that kept me here was the idea that if someone else had gone through exactly what I had- that they deserved to live just as much as I did. This idea of living not for me but for someone like me saved my life.
This book is an extension of that thought. Maybe sharing all the things I needed so desperately to hear or wanted to say - might validate and help other victims out there. If it could help even just one person, and convince them to stay a little longer or to try and get help then every painful memory I have carved out from myself and put on display will have been worth it.
I started writing “Forgiveness is Green” with the simple but not so simple concept of: “How can you forgive someone without giving in to them?” Most personal growth books, advice from friends, and online blogs have always implied that in order to heal you must forgive your abuser and make peace with them. Which is not at all an ideology I subscribe to. Maybe that works for some people out there, and I wish that was a safe option for most- but it’s not. Continuously trying to make peace and forgive someone who has abusive tendencies will only put that same victim in more harm's way. So really, how can you make peace with someone who doesn’t have empathy- and will keep harming you? That’s what this book at heart is asking and… trying to answer.
This all being said this book might not seem like it's for you. But it might be for someone you love or someone you haven’t been able to get through to, and reading it might even help you understand them better. When I was going through my shit, a lot of people couldn’t get through to me either. But by sharing our stories, we can help destigmatize victims and take away the belief that you are the sum of what has been done to you and nothing else. We can empower those around us and let them know that they are not alone and that there is a life so beautiful on the other side of fear waiting for them.
So thank you. Thank you for being here for me on this journey and supporting all the voiceless people out there. Because sadly there are many people like me out there, like us even, and it’s time for us to reclaim our stories and change the narrative that has been for so long working against us.
Pre-ordering and why it’s important:
Pre-orders are super important in regards to how well a book does "or charts". If a book has say fifty pre-orders when it releases it will look like 50 people bought the book on release and it will rise higher on the charts. (When that happens it will be more accessible to a wider audience and might gain attention from agents, publishers, ect...) So if you are going to buy one it would really mean a lot to me if you'd pre-order!
As a bonus incentive and for whatever reason, I have noticed that if you pre-order the date of arrival is much sooner than the initial chosen release date! So by ordering not only are you supporting this project extra, but you will also be among the first people to read it!
I’m hoping to use any profits I make to help set a foundation for a better life for my mother and I. For a long while, we’ve always been two girls against the world together. With her growing up poor and from a dysfunctional family upbringing herself I really want to be able to help and take care of her. This may be too hard of a tackle for this one book, but by supporting this book you will help open the door for more opportunities for me and my mother. This isn't the end of my endeavors in writing- if anything far from! So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I cannot thank you enough for helping make this dream of mine ever since I was a little girl finally come true. It honestly doesn’t feel real yet. It probably won’t until my own copy comes in haha!! And even then I’ll probably stare at it dumbfounded that I actually made it. That I actually did it.
I did it, mom,
I finally achieved!